Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Live On Forever
It's ridiculous how selfish we all can be and how much we take our lives for granted when people like Aya are out there optimistically being unselfish and trying to figure out what they can do for others. She was an amazing and inspirational person. Maybe she was given that disease because God knew she would use it to change the world. If you can even help the life of one other person, isn't that amazing?
Saturday, April 16, 2011
**
I miss you so much~!!!!!!
I hope that i can really see you right now~~
OMG god help me~!!!!
I'm helpless in this love flow that i create myself~!!!!!
I hope that i can really see you right now~~
OMG god help me~!!!!
I'm helpless in this love flow that i create myself~!!!!!
Saturday, April 9, 2011
Today i wrote something special~!
This is something special i wanted to share
with you all~!
Well i wrote again today~!
I was almost crazy because of this...
keke~!
this is my ordinary life and also my private life story~!
this is my ordinary life and also my private life story~!
Would you all wanted to know what have i written?
Hehe(evil smile)
Wait till i prepared to spill it out~!
.......................................................................
Lydia
9/4/2011
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Car Operating System!@@
Bill's company made software to run a car.
Bill was taking a test ride of the car. Suddenly a truck came from opposite side.
Bill pressed ctrl+b to apply brakes.
A pop-up window appeared asking, "Are you sure you really want to stop?"
Before Bill could enter "Yes", there was a crash and the car caught fire.
In panic Bill forgot the password to open the door.
He started shouting "F1! F1!" but there was no computer professional present there to understand his screams.
Then he tried to come out through the car window-pane.
A message appeared on the screen, "An illegal function is performed.
All the window-panes of the car will be closed." Poor Bill died.
Messengers of death took away his soul and said to him, "You have never ever performed any good deeds in your life. You always stole the code from others. We are going to send you to hell."
Bill pleaded, "I am ready to go to hell but do provide me a computer, please."
Messengers of death smiled inwardly and permitted him a computer, but with no Alt, Ctrl and Delete keys on the keyboard.
Bill was taking a test ride of the car. Suddenly a truck came from opposite side.
Bill pressed ctrl+b to apply brakes.
A pop-up window appeared asking, "Are you sure you really want to stop?"
Before Bill could enter "Yes", there was a crash and the car caught fire.
In panic Bill forgot the password to open the door.
He started shouting "F1! F1!" but there was no computer professional present there to understand his screams.
Then he tried to come out through the car window-pane.
A message appeared on the screen, "An illegal function is performed.
All the window-panes of the car will be closed." Poor Bill died.
Messengers of death took away his soul and said to him, "You have never ever performed any good deeds in your life. You always stole the code from others. We are going to send you to hell."
Bill pleaded, "I am ready to go to hell but do provide me a computer, please."
Messengers of death smiled inwardly and permitted him a computer, but with no Alt, Ctrl and Delete keys on the keyboard.
I Cant Hear You!@@
Charlie was responsible for taking up the offerings at a local church. One Sunday, after the service, the priest counted the money and found there was less than anticipated, given the size of the congregation. He took Charlie aside and questioned him.
Charlie said that he did not take any of the offerings.
The priest questioned him again and again and Charlie continued to insist that he did not take any of the offerings. So, the priest told Charlie to get into the confessional, which he did.
The priest then asked him again, "Charlie, did you take any of the offering?" This time, Charlie replied, "I can't hear you."
The priest asked Charlie the same question several times and Charlie would always reply, "I can't hear you."
Finally, the priest yelled, "CHARLIE, DID YOU TAKE ANY OF THE OFFERING?"
Again, the reply was, "I can't hear you."
The priest was now beginning to get angry, so he came out of the confessional and said to Charlie, "Trade places with me and you can ask me a question."
So, they traded places and Charlie asked, "Is it true that you and my wife are having an affair?"
To which the priest replied, "By golly, you’re right, you can't hear in here!"
Charlie said that he did not take any of the offerings.
The priest questioned him again and again and Charlie continued to insist that he did not take any of the offerings. So, the priest told Charlie to get into the confessional, which he did.
The priest then asked him again, "Charlie, did you take any of the offering?" This time, Charlie replied, "I can't hear you."
The priest asked Charlie the same question several times and Charlie would always reply, "I can't hear you."
Finally, the priest yelled, "CHARLIE, DID YOU TAKE ANY OF THE OFFERING?"
Again, the reply was, "I can't hear you."
The priest was now beginning to get angry, so he came out of the confessional and said to Charlie, "Trade places with me and you can ask me a question."
So, they traded places and Charlie asked, "Is it true that you and my wife are having an affair?"
To which the priest replied, "By golly, you’re right, you can't hear in here!"
Valuable Banking
Rajiv and Mona are flying to Australia for a two-week vacation to celebrate their 40th anniversary.
Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, " Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news.
Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!"
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.
An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, "Mona, did we pay our Rs 5lakh deposit cheque yet to Bank?"
" No, sweetheart," she responds.
Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Mona, did we pay our Bank Master card yet?"
"Oh no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the cheque," she says.
"One last thing, Mona. Did you remember to send cheques for the auto loan to them too this month?" he asks.
"Oh, forgive me, Rajiv," begged Mona. "I didn't send that one, either."
Rajiv grabs her and gives her the biggest hug in 40 years. Mona pulls away and asks him, "So, why did you hug me?"
Rajiv answers, "They'll find us!!!!"
Suddenly, over the public address system, the Captain announces, " Ladies and Gentlemen, I am afraid I have some very bad news.
Our engines have ceased functioning and we will attempt an emergency landing. Luckily, I see an uncharted island below us and we should be able to land on the beach. However, the odds are that we may never be rescued and will have to live on the island for the rest of our lives!"
Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, the plane lands safely on the island.
An hour later Rajiv turns to his wife and asks, "Mona, did we pay our Rs 5lakh deposit cheque yet to Bank?"
" No, sweetheart," she responds.
Rajiv, still shaken from the crash landing, then asks, "Mona, did we pay our Bank Master card yet?"
"Oh no! I'm sorry. I forgot to send the cheque," she says.
"One last thing, Mona. Did you remember to send cheques for the auto loan to them too this month?" he asks.
"Oh, forgive me, Rajiv," begged Mona. "I didn't send that one, either."
Rajiv grabs her and gives her the biggest hug in 40 years. Mona pulls away and asks him, "So, why did you hug me?"
Rajiv answers, "They'll find us!!!!"
A Christian Bear!@@
An atheist was taking a walk through the woods "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals!" he said to himself. As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot grizzly charging towards him.
He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster.
He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him. At that instant the atheist cried out: "Oh my God..."
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
It was then that a bright light shone down upon the man and a voice came out of the sky saying: "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the bear a Christian?"
"Very well," said the voice.
The light went out.
And the sounds of the forest resumed.
Then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful. Amen."
He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster.
He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him. At that instant the atheist cried out: "Oh my God..."
Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
It was then that a bright light shone down upon the man and a voice came out of the sky saying: "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist, and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?"
The atheist looked directly into the light, "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the bear a Christian?"
"Very well," said the voice.
The light went out.
And the sounds of the forest resumed.
Then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful. Amen."
Marketing
Two beggars are sitting side by side on a street in Rome. One
has a cross in front of him, the other one the Star of David.
Many people go by, look at both beggars, but only put money into
the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.
A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving
money to the beggar behind the cross, but none to the beggar
behind the Star of David.
Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of
David and says, "My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a
Catholic country. This city is the seat of Catholicism. People
aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of
David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a
beggar who has a cross. He's going to get all the donations."
The beggar behind the Star of David listened to the priest,
turned to the other beggar with the cross and said, "Moishe,
look who's' trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about
marketing."
has a cross in front of him, the other one the Star of David.
Many people go by, look at both beggars, but only put money into
the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.
A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving
money to the beggar behind the cross, but none to the beggar
behind the Star of David.
Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of
David and says, "My poor fellow, don't you understand? This is a
Catholic country. This city is the seat of Catholicism. People
aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of
David in front of you, especially when you're sitting beside a
beggar who has a cross. He's going to get all the donations."
The beggar behind the Star of David listened to the priest,
turned to the other beggar with the cross and said, "Moishe,
look who's' trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about
marketing."
Car Needed
A young man comes home and says "Dad, just got my driver's license and would like to use the family car."
Father replies, :"O.K., son. But, first, you have to get good grades in school, keep your room clean, make the yard is neat, and cut your hair. Come back in a few months and then we'll see."
Well, several months pass and the young man comes into the house with his report card in his hand. "Dad, I got great marks on my report card. I've been keeping my room as neat as a pin, and the yard is always ship-shape. How about letting me use the car?"
Father replies, "That's all true, but son you didn't cut your hair."
Son says, "But, dad, Jesus had long hair."
Father replies, "Yes, son, you're perfectly right. And he walked everywhere he went."
Father replies, :"O.K., son. But, first, you have to get good grades in school, keep your room clean, make the yard is neat, and cut your hair. Come back in a few months and then we'll see."
Well, several months pass and the young man comes into the house with his report card in his hand. "Dad, I got great marks on my report card. I've been keeping my room as neat as a pin, and the yard is always ship-shape. How about letting me use the car?"
Father replies, "That's all true, but son you didn't cut your hair."
Son says, "But, dad, Jesus had long hair."
Father replies, "Yes, son, you're perfectly right. And he walked everywhere he went."
Passionate
Two police officers saw an old woman staggering down the street, stopping her they can tell she has had far too much to drink and instead of taking her to jail they decide to just drive her home. They loaded her into the police cruiser one of the officers gets in the back with the drunk woman.
As they drove through the streets they kept asking the old woman where she lived, all the old lady would say as she stroked the officers arm is, "You're Passionate."
They drove awhile longer and asked again, but again the same response as she stroked his arm, "You're Passionate."
The officers were getting a little upset so they stopped the car and said to the woman, "Look we have driven around this city for two hours and you still haven't told us where you live!"
She replied, "I keep trying to tell you, you're passin it!"
As they drove through the streets they kept asking the old woman where she lived, all the old lady would say as she stroked the officers arm is, "You're Passionate."
They drove awhile longer and asked again, but again the same response as she stroked his arm, "You're Passionate."
The officers were getting a little upset so they stopped the car and said to the woman, "Look we have driven around this city for two hours and you still haven't told us where you live!"
She replied, "I keep trying to tell you, you're passin it!"
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